Adult Children at Thanksgiving

I can't take any credit for having two great children. As infants and children they were delightful. As every family has their challenges, so we've had our share. We may not have always worked through them well, but we've come out on the other side of many difficulties.

Now they are adults. Early on, people said to Paula and me that the joy of having children was mostly experienced in their youngest years and then much later if/when they brought grandchildren into the world. The early years with our two were wonderful . . . I cannot yet vouch for the grandchildren part of that. I have, however, experienced tremendous joy in having both of them as my good friends as they've become adults.

I've seen some parents try to do the "best friend" thing with their adolescent children, and that never seemed to work for me. But now that my children are 26 and 22, I can call them my very close friends, and do so gladly.

We laugh together. We share our writing and our poetry together. One or two words set off secret, inside jokes only shared within our family circle. We karoake in the car -- on one particular Christmas carol we each have our own part . . . it may be our single best Christmas tradition.

Both make a difference in the world . . . both teach English in public schools . . . both love kids and give their gifts and creativity to kids who need positive role models . . . both could do something more "lucrative" vocationally, but have chosen this path for life.

A breakthrough moment came on a two-week vacation a couple of summers ago . . . actually the "moment" lasted all two weeks. We travelled through New England and the Atlantic Provinces of Canada. We fished and boated, watched theater and bagpipe parades, visited lighthouses and art museums, hiked and road horses. It was a magical two weeks. The four of us came to know one another in new ways, traveling, eating, hiking, and bunking together. We turned a corner over those few days, growing to love and respect each other in ways we couldn't have imagined previously.

Having children may be one of the few things I've ever done right . . . not just "having children" (and not that I was a good parent) . . . but having these children, Sarah and Bradley. Today on Thanksgiving, I give thanks for them.